Troy's Times - November 1st, 2006
Hi Friend! (Some ch^racters in th1s newsletter have been altered to keep it from being filtered out as spam) IN THIS ISSUE
“It is not important How we come to the events in our lives, but how we Deal with those events”- Troy
This week’s article: Lock up Your Loved Ones “All you need is love.” When I discovered I was being released from prison five years earlier than I had expected, my family and I kept it a secret from my son, Eric. It just so happened that my release date was thirteen days before Christmas, so my parents quickly made arrangements for Eric to spend Christmas vacation with them in Phoenix. This didn’t raise any red flags for Eric because he had been doing this every other year for this past seven years. On the day that my son flew into Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport, my father, mother, brother, sister and I drove down to greet Eric. My mother, father and sister went to the gate Eric was scheduled to arrive at, and my brother and I stayed back four gates, I on one side of the hallway with a hat and sunglasses on, my brother on the other side with a video camera, taping the entire scene. As Eric got off the plane my parents and sister greeted him with hugs and kisses, and after exchanging pleasantries began heading in my direction. At this time, I stepped away from the wall and began walking towards them. As I approached them I stepped in front of the group and said, excuse me could someone please tell me what time it is? Out of the corner of my eye I could see my son’s face, his mouth wide open and his eyes as big as saucers. Answering my question my mom said, “It’s 7:30.” “Thank you very much,” I said and stepped around them, continuing on. Behind me I could hear my son saying, “That was my dad!” My father said, “That wasn’t your Dad, Eric, you know where your Dad is.” A second passed and my son said, “I'm telling you, Grandpa, that was my Dad. Go get him!” That, of course, was all I could take and I spun around, ran back to my son and spent the next five minutes hugging, kissing and crying. I definitely blew my boy right out of the water, and that was the first time in his entire life he had ever been rendered speechless. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Family and loved ones—there is absolutely nothing more important. This bears repeating. There is absolutely nothing more important in our lives than the people we love and those who love us. I am in particular talking about the people in our everyday life, the people we oftentimes take for granted, the ones that we assume will always be there, the ones who we peck on the cheek as we walk in the door after a long day, only to then plop our butts on the couch. The people who get that same gesture as we leave the next morning. The people who we assume are always going to be a part of our life.
In prison, I was surrounded by more than a thousand inmates and the guards
that kept us, and I was, at all times, utterly alone. When you’re
in a situation that is that volatile, the fewer signs of weakness that
you show, the better off you are. You do not share your thoughts and feelings.
You have no one to comfort you. You have truly lost your soft place to
fall.
When we played this trick on my son, we were just trying to have a little good-natured fun, but what he gave me was yet another lesson in life—be vigilant in your love. My son had played second fiddle to drugs in his father’s eyes, he had been through high security prison searches, had to fend off countless attacks of ridicule for his father, and, when we played the trick on him in the airport, he was willing to argue with those he trusted—his own grandparents—to be vigilant in his love for his father. Having been in an emotional void for all of those years, that was the best gift he could have given me.
Chuck lost his life that day because of a 69¢ writing pen. The assailant
accused Chuck of walking by his workstation, picking up his 69¢ pen,
thus disrespecting him and giving him the right to take Chuck’s
life. Chuck had a wife of ten years, an eight-year-old daughter, and six
weeks left on a six-year prison sentence. In that instant it was all snatched
away. A father was lost, a widow was made, and a future vanished into
thin air, all over a 69¢ pen. I’ve often wondered what unfinished business Chuck had. After all,
there were only six short weeks left before the world would be open to
him again. Was he waiting for the right moment to tell his wife and daughter
how much they really meant to him? Did he look forward to the day, six
weeks down the road, that he would be able to start rebuilding those relationships?
Was he waiting for the best time, place and circumstances? If he was,
he may have missed his opportunity altogether. I have two younger siblings. My brother is two years younger than me
and my sister is four years younger. My sister and I have always had a
great relationship. She was generally willing to see the best in me despite
the life choices I was making. We remained close throughout my addiction,
she was one of my staunchest supporters while I was in prison, and she
was the one to pick me up when I was released. When things started to go downhill, he picked up the tab there too. I’ve
already mentioned that I was a severe disruption in my house. Every time
I came home stoned, or fought with my parents, or took their time worrying
about what to do with me, I was stealing their time from my brother and
sister. My brother was going through the same transition that I was when
we moved, but he kept his nose clean, stayed in school, stayed off drugs,
and graduated without ever causing a problem in the house. I’m sure
that he didn’t want to add to my parents’ torment. Of course,
we all know the saying, “The squeaky wheel gets the grease.”
Well I was squeaking at about a million decibels. I’m sure there
were days that, no matter what my brother had accomplished, he wasn’t
even making the household radar. It was all about Troy. I was years into my sentence at this point. I was living in a place where
you didn’t show weakness, you didn’t show emotions and you
definitely didn’t show tears. I was looking across the table at
my brother, careful as always to keep from showing too much on my face,
but inside my heart was exploding. At that point, every new supporter
I won over was a triumph, but this was my brother. The brother who I thought
I had lost, who very justifiably had written me off years before, was
here, talking to me about my school and how I was doing. I didn’t
just get a supporter that day; I learned that despite it all, my brother
still loved me, had probably never stopped. I wanted to laugh and cry
and hug him all at the same time. All I was allowed was to sit there and
talk, and even though that had to be good enough, I knew that one day,
we would have better moments together. I was going to keep on this path,
because now, in addition to all of the other goals I had, I knew I was
going to win my brother back. Years have passed and I have indeed won my brother back. In fact, we are best friends. We talk daily about our lives and sometimes I even get to give him some big brotherly advice. I cherish that relationship every day and sometimes think about all of the things that could have gone wrong. I think about Chuck and cringe at the “what ifs” that could have prevented me from every truly knowing how wonderful it is to have my brother in my life. No argument or sense of pride is worth that.
Let these people know you love them and let them know often. Let them
know how special they are every day. Watch your kids and fight to protect
them no matter how much they rebel against it. Pick up the phone and call
your parents, or better yet, visit them, they will not always be there
for you. Hug your loved ones close and be true to your commitments and
you will have that love reflected back to you. Lock up your loved ones
so that you will never have to regret the things that were not said or
the love not given. They will be your cheerleaders, your confidants, and
your reality check. As you are there for them, they will be there for
you. It will make a difference to them and it will make a difference in
you.
Read a letter from a
recent client - Click hear to read! I often had a hopeless feeling knowing that all I could offer were words of encouragement and support and the sharing of my own downfall....that was until I became partners with a company called DrugTALK. DrugTALK is a v1rtual life coach dedicated to helping families, parents and young people overcome the threat and dangers of drugs through the privacy of their home. They do this by delivering the insight, tools and activities needed for parents to protect their children by putting vital protection principles into practice, often without parents even realizing it. Their programs and tools are based on decades of research and supported by a dynamic team of communication experts, family intervention specialists, treatment professionals, narcotics intelligence officers, life coaches, parents and---most importantly---teens who have faced the world of drugs first-hand. The CEO of DrugTALK happened to attend one of my speaking engagements
and after talking I skeptically took one of his Drug Reference Guides
and a DVD. Having lived through the hell of drug abuse I had my whole
adult life been conv1nced that nothing short of expensive in-patient treatment
centers could break the hold that drugs have on our young people. After
thoroughly studying what DrugTalk has to offer I was blown away- I can
honestly say that h^d these tools been available to me during my teenage
years that I most likely would have avoided the hell I put myself and
family through.
Featured product for this issue! MY FIRST PUBLISHED BOOK- " From Desper^tion to Dedication: Lessons You Can Bank On"…Click
here to order
Download a free chapter of my book, The Preface is available here - Click to begin! If you live in or near one of the following cit1es where Troy will be speaking over the next few months, please contact The Ev^ns Groups for details on an opportunity that does not come around often- see Troy present for free!
Sign up for my affiliate program and earn money while you sleep! Click here for details! Commission for booking me - I offer a comm1ssion of 10%-20% ($750.00-$1,500.00) for anyone who refers me for speaking engagements and/or bulk product sales. Please contact The Evans Group for details. Subscriber opinions and impressions of this electronic newsletter: I invite subscribers to write me with their quest1ons as well and I will answer them in the next issue. Also readers, I invite you to send in profiles of yourself and how you have used the inform^tion from my electronic newsletter, products or speech in your personal and/or professional lives. Once a month I will feature one individual for all others to read about!
Note: You are free to reprint any portion of this electronic newsletter as long as the portion remains complete and unaltered, and the “About the Author” section is included. About the Author- Troy Evans is a profess1onal speaker and author who resides in Phoenix, AZ with his wife Pam and his dog Archibald. Troy travels the country delivering keynote presentations, and since his release from prison has taken the corporate and association pl^tforms by storm. Overcoming adversity, adapting to change and pushing yourself to realize your full potential- other speaker’s talk about these issues, Troy has walked them.
|
| |||||||
         | |||||||
